2020 WHEN CAME THE RAIN
When came the rain
It never left
A failed usher of foreboding clouds
The storm never came
When the rain came
It just rained on and on
So never came the calm
That comes after the rains
Fear distanced both
Mind and flesh
Intimacy made illegal, hugs outlawed
A masquerade without a ball
Heavy the lonely days
Dis-integrate the mind
Spirits numb and blind the body
Darkness comatose the soul
With wrenched guts
The chosen ID
The most likely to die
And who gets to breathe
Shackled in loneliness
The widowed and frailed
Stripped of choices
Hear their own voices of doom
Ignored were needs to be held
No smile to the feed soul
Dying insidiously or intensively
Both die alone
Anger erupts
Yelling residual bias
While speechless about
The changing path
“Imperfections remain unacceptable
Change requires destruction”
Behold, perfection remains
Forever unobtainable
Colliding head on in broad hot daylight
Consciousness keeps streaming
Through the night. through the flames
Awakening to smashed glass dawns
The heavens mourn in muffled silence
Angst screams out global insomnia
A call cries for peace
Ignored in the falling drizzle of tears
Doors and windows slam shut
From outside and within
Violence resurrects once again
A floundering generation
No work no money
Timeless hours, too many days
While knowledge fakes advance
Wisdom is afflicted
Can’t run to or fro
Merchants crying, commerce dying
A diamoned whore holding fast
The bucking steed of credit to debt
When the rain came
It never left
So never came the calm
That comes after the rain
Evening's finally settling
On this Friday of my life
Though chaos rules without
Within calm reigns
And softly tomorrow at week’s end
I’ll relish mortal loves
The fire-danced blue-emerald eyes
Of mother and child
And daily be reminded
Of immortality where heart meets soul
Refreshing the parchedness of life
With needs and dreams fulfilled
When came the rain
Calm came and stayed
No transient eye
Of hurricane
Hard ground now softened
Unfolding as it should
Between distraction and reality
There lies breath and sleep
Jay Draeger
7/18/2020
Notes/explanations
2020 WHEN CAME THE RAIN – the first half of 2020 was unprecedented with four major sweeping phenomenons that rained down on the lives of humanity; COVID-19, Black Lives Matter/racial inequality protests, economic upheaval, and the internal emotional impact of those external stressors.
When came the rain – COVID-19, a dampener, a deluge causing change
It never left – usually societal events are transient, they cause their effect, then are done
A failed usher of foreboding clouds – the horrors of Asia and Italy were strongly and fearfully predicted in the media, to happen in America.
The storm never came – the threat of horror continued, but did not fully occur
When the rain came
It just rained on and on
So never came the calm – many were limited in processing their angst, being held in a perpetual state of fear
That comes after the rains – internal resolution was delayed
Fear distanced both
Mind and flesh – “distancing” grew beyond just the 6 feet apart for all outside the home community activities. There was an emotional “mind” distancing resulting from both shelter-in-place sequestration, as well as the deterioration of interpersonal communication (masks, less interaction, ZOOM, etc)
Intimacy made illegal, hugs outlawed – how does one start a relationship and how can it progress? … existing interactions like handshakes were eliminated … the hugs of friends or social group, or even families were not “allowed”, starving the need for bonding, especially with those in facilities that were put in pseudo solitary confinement.
A masquerade without a ball – expressions were hidden and voices muffled by masks, a gothic separation without the playful intrigue or even the ability to create a dance with laughter, close proximity, and changing partners in the ball.
Heavy the lonely days
Dis-integrate the mind – the mind/emotions lose cohesive integration and start to fragment
Spirits numb and blind the body – booze abounds and harms, as do sociopathic tendencies
Darkness comatose the soul – social withdrawal, loss of self-worth, depression, suicidality
With wrenched guts – some of the toughest decision are ethical and moral
The chosen ID – hospital teams willing to accept the request to make the tough decision about allocation of scares resources, having to identify on an individual basis
The most likely to die – if likely to die no matter what the medical intervention, then they do not meet the criteria for a ventilator, if ventilators are in super short supply, giving the resources to the ones most likely to survive with the intervention, for the good of the whole
And who gets to breathe
Shackled in loneliness – for weeks and months, Skilled Nursing Facilities, Assisted Living Facilities and Residential Care Facilities for the Elderly, made residents STAY IN THEIR ROOMS, having food delivered to their door (sounding like medieval dungeons?), unable to meet with others, see others (except via some kind of technology often beyond their capabilities), or even be visited by family, often not even being able to be seen from the outside through a window.
The widowed and frailed
Stripped of choices
Hear their own voices of doom – progressively alone, many of their spirits faded away
Ignored were needs to be held – without touch, babies die, and others wither
No smile to feed the soul - masked
Dying insidiously or intensively – whether failing to thrive and diminishing alone in a facility, or with aggressive Intensive Care intubation with its strict limitations of who (not family) can have any contact and in how much personal protective equipment restricting human interaction occurs
Both die alone
Anger erupts – a match lit a tightly bound powder keg
Yelling residual bias – unappreciated micro aggressions, unfairness, and unrecognized privilege
While speechless about
The changing path – speaking only about the current inequities, without any reference to prior decades and centuries of gradual improvement (in the laws and in society) in support of love for fellow man (all be they always to slow in coming), squelching the building of any sense of community regarding improving how people relate to the racial, class, and ideological differences between them and others.
“Imperfections remain unacceptable – no matter what has changed, if it is not “perfect” (a word with way to many definitions, from social interactions, to equal opportunities, to socialism), it is still a cause needing to be fought.
Change requires destruction” – peaceful protests do not carry as much media or societal change potential as does violence.
Behold, perfection remains
Forever unobtainable – there will never be consensus, there will never be peace.
Colliding head on in broad hot daylight – crowds in the street vehemently refusing shelter in place, which in itself was probably mandated without adequate science, and likely with political intent.
Consciousness keeps streaming – long live the cause
Through the night. through the flames
Awakening to smashed glass dawns – and overturned cars, and physical attacks from all sides against each other, reminiscent of “Kristallnacht”, the Night of Broken Glass, or the persecutions and inquisitions of the past.
The heavens mourn in muffled silence – from a perspective above just the world
Angst screams out global insomnia – emotional stability is ravaged
A call cries for peace – calmer voices are drowned out by radio shows, tv talking heads, and some well-meaning voices, yet some hired to forward an agenda resembling anarchy.
Ignored in the falling drizzle of tears – the sadness of the people is discounted
Doors and windows slam shut
From outside and within – both social and individual isolation
Violence resurrects once again
A floundering generation – history repeats itself, Selma, Vietnam, Tiananmen, Spartacus
No work no money – unemployment
Timeless hours, too many days – boredom, isolation
While knowledge fakes advance – this is truth … no this is truth, knowledge shall be increased
Wisdom is afflicted
Can’t run to or fro – shelter in place, for the good of “all”
Merchants crying, commerce dying – the economy disaster
A diamoned whore holding fast – likened to the riches of the whore of Revelation, nearing the cry “Babylon is fallen, is fallen”
The bucking steed of credit to debt – the beast, unfettered capitalism, greed
When the rain came
It never left
So never came the calm
That comes after the rain
Evening's finally settling
On this Friday of my life – Sixth out of a week’s seven days, nearing the end, sixth decade
Though chaos rules without
Within calm reigns – it’s a choice that can be made, usually needing a higher help
And softly tomorrow at week’s end – in the near future, when I see my life in retrospect
I’ll relish mortal loves – those special to me through the years
The fire-danced blue-emerald eyes – just a little color blind
Of mother and child – Wife and daughter, family
And daily be reminded
Of immortality where heart meets soul – spirituality and eternity
Refreshing the parchedness of life – though life can be hard
With needs and dreams fulfilled – it can be sweet
When came the rain
Calm came and stayed
No transient eye
Of hurricane – the calm can be permanent, not just a temporary lull in the storm
Hard ground now softened – accepting my inner calm, the rains of chaos serve a role to make the digging of my grave less arduous
Unfolding as it should – there is a plan, there exists His will, Desiderata
Between distraction and reality – truth lies beyond distraction, but truth doesn’t always need incontrovertible proof, in can exist in the calm of mindfulness of presence.
There lies breath and sleep – there lies life, and rest, and whatever death entails, it’s ok.
Jay Draeger
7/18/2020
When came the rain
It never left
A failed usher of foreboding clouds
The storm never came
When the rain came
It just rained on and on
So never came the calm
That comes after the rains
Fear distanced both
Mind and flesh
Intimacy made illegal, hugs outlawed
A masquerade without a ball
Heavy the lonely days
Dis-integrate the mind
Spirits numb and blind the body
Darkness comatose the soul
With wrenched guts
The chosen ID
The most likely to die
And who gets to breathe
Shackled in loneliness
The widowed and frailed
Stripped of choices
Hear their own voices of doom
Ignored were needs to be held
No smile to the feed soul
Dying insidiously or intensively
Both die alone
Anger erupts
Yelling residual bias
While speechless about
The changing path
“Imperfections remain unacceptable
Change requires destruction”
Behold, perfection remains
Forever unobtainable
Colliding head on in broad hot daylight
Consciousness keeps streaming
Through the night. through the flames
Awakening to smashed glass dawns
The heavens mourn in muffled silence
Angst screams out global insomnia
A call cries for peace
Ignored in the falling drizzle of tears
Doors and windows slam shut
From outside and within
Violence resurrects once again
A floundering generation
No work no money
Timeless hours, too many days
While knowledge fakes advance
Wisdom is afflicted
Can’t run to or fro
Merchants crying, commerce dying
A diamoned whore holding fast
The bucking steed of credit to debt
When the rain came
It never left
So never came the calm
That comes after the rain
Evening's finally settling
On this Friday of my life
Though chaos rules without
Within calm reigns
And softly tomorrow at week’s end
I’ll relish mortal loves
The fire-danced blue-emerald eyes
Of mother and child
And daily be reminded
Of immortality where heart meets soul
Refreshing the parchedness of life
With needs and dreams fulfilled
When came the rain
Calm came and stayed
No transient eye
Of hurricane
Hard ground now softened
Unfolding as it should
Between distraction and reality
There lies breath and sleep
Jay Draeger
7/18/2020
Notes/explanations
2020 WHEN CAME THE RAIN – the first half of 2020 was unprecedented with four major sweeping phenomenons that rained down on the lives of humanity; COVID-19, Black Lives Matter/racial inequality protests, economic upheaval, and the internal emotional impact of those external stressors.
When came the rain – COVID-19, a dampener, a deluge causing change
It never left – usually societal events are transient, they cause their effect, then are done
A failed usher of foreboding clouds – the horrors of Asia and Italy were strongly and fearfully predicted in the media, to happen in America.
The storm never came – the threat of horror continued, but did not fully occur
When the rain came
It just rained on and on
So never came the calm – many were limited in processing their angst, being held in a perpetual state of fear
That comes after the rains – internal resolution was delayed
Fear distanced both
Mind and flesh – “distancing” grew beyond just the 6 feet apart for all outside the home community activities. There was an emotional “mind” distancing resulting from both shelter-in-place sequestration, as well as the deterioration of interpersonal communication (masks, less interaction, ZOOM, etc)
Intimacy made illegal, hugs outlawed – how does one start a relationship and how can it progress? … existing interactions like handshakes were eliminated … the hugs of friends or social group, or even families were not “allowed”, starving the need for bonding, especially with those in facilities that were put in pseudo solitary confinement.
A masquerade without a ball – expressions were hidden and voices muffled by masks, a gothic separation without the playful intrigue or even the ability to create a dance with laughter, close proximity, and changing partners in the ball.
Heavy the lonely days
Dis-integrate the mind – the mind/emotions lose cohesive integration and start to fragment
Spirits numb and blind the body – booze abounds and harms, as do sociopathic tendencies
Darkness comatose the soul – social withdrawal, loss of self-worth, depression, suicidality
With wrenched guts – some of the toughest decision are ethical and moral
The chosen ID – hospital teams willing to accept the request to make the tough decision about allocation of scares resources, having to identify on an individual basis
The most likely to die – if likely to die no matter what the medical intervention, then they do not meet the criteria for a ventilator, if ventilators are in super short supply, giving the resources to the ones most likely to survive with the intervention, for the good of the whole
And who gets to breathe
Shackled in loneliness – for weeks and months, Skilled Nursing Facilities, Assisted Living Facilities and Residential Care Facilities for the Elderly, made residents STAY IN THEIR ROOMS, having food delivered to their door (sounding like medieval dungeons?), unable to meet with others, see others (except via some kind of technology often beyond their capabilities), or even be visited by family, often not even being able to be seen from the outside through a window.
The widowed and frailed
Stripped of choices
Hear their own voices of doom – progressively alone, many of their spirits faded away
Ignored were needs to be held – without touch, babies die, and others wither
No smile to feed the soul - masked
Dying insidiously or intensively – whether failing to thrive and diminishing alone in a facility, or with aggressive Intensive Care intubation with its strict limitations of who (not family) can have any contact and in how much personal protective equipment restricting human interaction occurs
Both die alone
Anger erupts – a match lit a tightly bound powder keg
Yelling residual bias – unappreciated micro aggressions, unfairness, and unrecognized privilege
While speechless about
The changing path – speaking only about the current inequities, without any reference to prior decades and centuries of gradual improvement (in the laws and in society) in support of love for fellow man (all be they always to slow in coming), squelching the building of any sense of community regarding improving how people relate to the racial, class, and ideological differences between them and others.
“Imperfections remain unacceptable – no matter what has changed, if it is not “perfect” (a word with way to many definitions, from social interactions, to equal opportunities, to socialism), it is still a cause needing to be fought.
Change requires destruction” – peaceful protests do not carry as much media or societal change potential as does violence.
Behold, perfection remains
Forever unobtainable – there will never be consensus, there will never be peace.
Colliding head on in broad hot daylight – crowds in the street vehemently refusing shelter in place, which in itself was probably mandated without adequate science, and likely with political intent.
Consciousness keeps streaming – long live the cause
Through the night. through the flames
Awakening to smashed glass dawns – and overturned cars, and physical attacks from all sides against each other, reminiscent of “Kristallnacht”, the Night of Broken Glass, or the persecutions and inquisitions of the past.
The heavens mourn in muffled silence – from a perspective above just the world
Angst screams out global insomnia – emotional stability is ravaged
A call cries for peace – calmer voices are drowned out by radio shows, tv talking heads, and some well-meaning voices, yet some hired to forward an agenda resembling anarchy.
Ignored in the falling drizzle of tears – the sadness of the people is discounted
Doors and windows slam shut
From outside and within – both social and individual isolation
Violence resurrects once again
A floundering generation – history repeats itself, Selma, Vietnam, Tiananmen, Spartacus
No work no money – unemployment
Timeless hours, too many days – boredom, isolation
While knowledge fakes advance – this is truth … no this is truth, knowledge shall be increased
Wisdom is afflicted
Can’t run to or fro – shelter in place, for the good of “all”
Merchants crying, commerce dying – the economy disaster
A diamoned whore holding fast – likened to the riches of the whore of Revelation, nearing the cry “Babylon is fallen, is fallen”
The bucking steed of credit to debt – the beast, unfettered capitalism, greed
When the rain came
It never left
So never came the calm
That comes after the rain
Evening's finally settling
On this Friday of my life – Sixth out of a week’s seven days, nearing the end, sixth decade
Though chaos rules without
Within calm reigns – it’s a choice that can be made, usually needing a higher help
And softly tomorrow at week’s end – in the near future, when I see my life in retrospect
I’ll relish mortal loves – those special to me through the years
The fire-danced blue-emerald eyes – just a little color blind
Of mother and child – Wife and daughter, family
And daily be reminded
Of immortality where heart meets soul – spirituality and eternity
Refreshing the parchedness of life – though life can be hard
With needs and dreams fulfilled – it can be sweet
When came the rain
Calm came and stayed
No transient eye
Of hurricane – the calm can be permanent, not just a temporary lull in the storm
Hard ground now softened – accepting my inner calm, the rains of chaos serve a role to make the digging of my grave less arduous
Unfolding as it should – there is a plan, there exists His will, Desiderata
Between distraction and reality – truth lies beyond distraction, but truth doesn’t always need incontrovertible proof, in can exist in the calm of mindfulness of presence.
There lies breath and sleep – there lies life, and rest, and whatever death entails, it’s ok.
Jay Draeger
7/18/2020